Post #1: Feb 11th - The Call that Changed Everything

Week 1

Feb 11th - I was working at my home office desk. My phone rang and it was the Cleveland Clinic. I knew it was the biopsy results from the previous Friday. I answered and listened. I heard the words that came through the phone, but not digested. She said I would be getting additional calls to set up appts. I hung up. Sat there in a daze. It was cancer.

I quickly realized I was supposed to take my daughter to a doctors appt and needed to pick her up from school. I walk out of my office and into the kitchen and my husband is on a Teams call with someone from work. He looks over at me and knows me well enough to see something is wrong. He gets off his call and I tell him "its cancerous". He comes with me to the middle school to pick up my daughter, in the car we didn't talk much and I was trying to hold back the tears of disbelief because I knew my daughter would be in the car in minutes. I fight them back all while my head is spinning. When we get to the doctors office, I say I'm not feeling well and will wait in the car. My husband and daughter go into the appt. Sitting in the car not knowing what to do, I text a friend who I know when through this a few years back. She texts me back immediately and offered to talk. I call her immediately with my news and we talk through her scenario and she is amazing. I start researching on my phone what my biopsy report showed.

Later, my husband suggests we reach out to our neighbor friend who is also a breast surgeon. My husband texts her and she offers to meet with us that night to talk through everything. 9;30pm we tell our kids we are going to the neighbors for a glass of wine on a school night, definitely seemed off but everyone went with it thankfully.

Our friend was amazing. She read through my biopsy report and walked us through what our path might look like... it was overwhelming but so informative. I am so eternally grateful for her love and support that night.

That night she asked if we have told the kids. I lost it. That, my heart can't handle. I can't imagine having to share this with my kids. No kids should have to hear this. But one bit of advise that resonated with me was when she shared that the kids will know something is up, and to let them in.

 Feb 15th - Talking w the kids.

My kids are older 20,19,14,14 … they are very intuitive.  It was a Tuesday when I got the call with the words no one wants to hear.  “It is cancerous, you will be getting a call to schedule an appt with the oncology dept”. 

When my friend said the kids would pick up on things and will know something is wrong, she was right. The rest of that week I could tell they knew something was off. My husband and I were both on edge and stressed. We decided we needed to tell the kids that weekend and asked my daughter to come from college for the weekend. We went to her school to watch her basketball game that following Saturday, and asked that she come home to spend time with the family. Although she had plans with her college friends that night, she agreed to come home quickly, I know God intervened in that conversation that day…. Somewhere deep down, she knew there was a bigger reason to come home from college without us having to say that at the time.  

Feb 15th evening - we gather the kids in the family room to have a family talk… they know something is up by the way my husband and I are asking. Usually when we gather the kids together like this, we have shared great news like "We are going on a surprise vacation!" or "We're picking up a new dog tomorrow", etc... They all gather and sit on our family room couches, and I’m trying to hold back the tears. I knew if I said one word, I would quickly loose it entirely. My husband has the hard job, he starts talking. He was a rock that day. Hardest day ever. My heart is broken for my kids hearing this news. No one should ever have to have this conversation w their family. 

Feb 16th - Telling the rest of the family. We were going to wait until Monday and Rick was going to make calls to my family on his own. He was ready to do this, but we were both out of the house and driving back from running a few errands and I said, let's just make the calls now to get them over with. We call my mom first and I don't have the words. Rick does all the talking, I chime in once or twice but I can't continue. After that call, was multiple other calls that all went the same way. Telling people is a very hard thing to do. Saying the words "I have cancer." is just something that no one can prepare you for. I still get shook up just thinking about having to say those 3 words.

My husband was a rock for me during this week. He handled all the hard conversations for us, he quickly got a gameplan together for doctor appts and questions, he was my everything.  

Feb 16th - Telling more people.

Two of my closest friends just happened to be on a text thread with me the day that I was getting my mammogram and ultrasound of the spot I found on my right breast. I don't normally share information much, but I told them I was getting a mammogram that day. God intervened that day as well, because the text thread naturally evolved that encouraged me to share that I was getting a mammogram which led to an ultrasound that day, which then led to a suggested biopsy to be scheduled. I had to wait 3 weeks to get in for the first biopsy and these two friends checked on me often and provided so much love and encouragement throughout those days. After the biopsy, they checked often on if I received the results, so once I did get the results, and after we shared with the kids and family, I did feel the need to share with them the findings but I was dreading it. Sharing this type of information makes it all the more real... this is real, I actually have cancer. ugh.

Rick took the lead to share the news with our closest friends. I’m not on the thread… I can’t be.